I had been deep in the throes of depression, after chasing away another nice girl during a night of getting completely drunk and blacking out, I decided not to leave my apartment for an entire week, the lights were left off as well and I kept Dominos pizza on speed dial. The days and nights blended together, it was late November 1999 just after Thanksgiving. I had been unemployed for months, my last fifteen dollars was in my bank account.
my apartment had deteriorated into a den of discarded pizza boxes, used tissues and various random nick nacks, totally unpresentable to anyone with a shred of decency. I had been drifting in and out of sleep for a while when I woke up and saw Albert Einstien standing at the foot of my bed. He was solemn wearing a dark overcoat and holding his hat.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked as I tried to figure out if I was dreaming or not "I'll call the cops!' I exclaimed
Professor Einstien, calmly yet assertively began to speak "I have it figured out, the grand unifying theory, I need you to give me a pen so I can write this down, this is extremely urgent"
"dude, I just woke up, come on, you really want me to dig around here and find a pen?"
Einstien began to get a bit agitated, his upper lip began to quiver "do you realize how long I have been working on this?"
"Okay, Okay, Cheesitz" I said, as i rolled out of bed in my boxers and stained white shirt, ushaven for three weeks. I got out of bed and started turning over pizza boxes, I found one half pencil nub, barely with a point, and handed it to him.
"I need paper!" he exlaimed, getting more annoyed with me.
"Shit, paper too?, let me see here...." I ripped the top off a cardboard pizza box and handed it to Einstien.
"Man, what a slob" he muttered under his breath.
"what was that?" I asked, moderately threatening
"umm, nothing, thanks for the pen.
I rolled back into bed and closed my eyes while Einstein feverishly scribbled his theory on my discarded pizza box. I closed my eyes and dreamt of a beach in Hawaii, with some exotic beauty feeding me grapes, was I escaping reality? your god damned right I was.
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